Well, this past week marks the beginning of the production process on my first novel. The characters take unexpected and challenging trips through mentally treacherous terrain and uncharted waters. Similarly, I am embarking on a new journey that will no doubt bring challenges for my family and me. So many questions arise: "Will I be able to handle it all?" "Will my family suffer while I pursue the promotion of a new book?" and most importantly, "Am I doing this for the right reasons?" Duplicitous motivation seems to be a never-ending antagonist for anyone diving into the murky waters of authoring - whether it be a book, song or anything else creative. I recently asked a friend "What motivates you?" I asked the question with a clear and poignant destination. But now I find myself asking the same question as I move throughout the e-mails and phones calls with my new publisher, and as I make plans with my family and schedule around my ministry obligations. "What is my motivation?" I'd like to think that I am doing this to further the gospel of Christ and promote His Kingdom. But in the mean time I am so busy creating a "brand" with some version of me attached to it. Are both goals possible?
I suspect that there is a road less traveled within this new map of possibilities. I suspect that God's word is that one-track road within its own map filled with directions guiding me away from pitfalls and heartache. I suppose that the shear reason that I "suspect" and I don't outright "know" this for myself today is why I write - and move toward knowing. So, today this entry is a prayer - a prayer for myself and for anyone who struggles with their own motivation. What I do know to be true is that God knows the heart and our true motivation is clear to Him. I pray that an enemy more devious than any literary antagonist could ever be, will not be allowed the power to bring me down before I even get started. This is the prayer that I share with you today. This is a prayer that maybe you and I can repeat as we take steps together down a road less traveled.
Many blessings.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
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